Posts Tagged ‘understanding’

The title is self-explanatory. These are things that I don’t understand, some in good ways, some in bad ways, some in neutral ways. These are in no particular order.

  • Sushi. I know people like it, I just don’t know why. For the record, I’ve tried it a few times just to make sure. After almost hurling up the last attempt sixteen years ago, I decided that I was done. You can have my share.
  • Misogyny. Why do some men hate women and think that they are inferior? Is your ego so fragile that you can’t accept women as equals? Smh.
  • Child prodigies. Amazing, but HOW???
  • Urban sprawl. I brought my son home from college this week and we went the long way down Geddes Road. We passed a bunch of new subdivisions and all of the houses were beige. Every. Single. One. Why beige? And why don’t real estate investors put their money into revamping old neighborhoods rather than taking over wild areas? It could be awesome and not beige. Something that I think about.
  • Football. Four years of marching band and being married to a football fan for twenty-one years and I still can’t tell you what’s happening.
  • Parents who don’t parent and their kids are wild. Enough said.
  • Real Housewives of Anything. I can’t watch spoiled, middle-aged, drama queens.
  • The Bachelor or The BacheloretteNot my cup of tea (she says while watching Hoarders and Say Yes To the Dress).
  • Sardines. I’m Italian and I still don’t understand sardines.
  • Beer. I LOVE the smell of beer, I truly do, and I tried it enough times to know that it makes me nauseous when I drink it. Friends of mine are discriminating beer drinkers and love it. I wish I understood beer, but wine makes it better.
  • The Golf Channel.
  • Early morning band or sports activities on a Saturday. This is sadism, pure and simple. This goes hand-in-hand with:
  • Waking up early when you don’t have to. Nothing against early-morning people, but I’m naturally a night owl. Yes, sunrises are beautiful, especially in December when the sunrises at a decent hour, like 8 o’clock. Wake up at 5 AM in June to watch the sun come up? Nah, I’m good.
  • Lawn obsessions.
  • Mosquitoes.
  • Girl toys and boy toys. Let the kids play with what they want without putting a label on it. My boys had cars and Legos, but they also had dolls and a kitchen. Big freaking deal.
  • Pointy-toed shoes.
  • Walmart.
  • The addictive power of Cadbury Mini-Eggs.
  • Kanye West. And while I’m at it,
  • Kardashians in general.
  • The “teenage boy smell”.
  • Blue Moon Ice Cream.
  • Racism. It’s ugly. It’s ignorant. It needs to stop.
  • Giant houses. The bigger the house, the more there is to clean.
  • Unmade beds. 
  • Internet trolls.
  • Armpit hair. Why? It’s smelly and yucky and serves no purpose.
  • Purposely loud cars. 
  • Fake geese that wear clothes as porch decorations.
  • Astrophysics. 
  • Regular physics
  • Frogs legs as food. I want to know who the first person was to think, “Let’s eat a slimy frog!”
  • My life. You’d think, by now, that I’d know what I’m doing. Not true. I’m just winging it.
  • God. Not the idea of God; I’m unashamedly a believer. I just wish I knew more real information, clear-cut answers to things instead of listening to people who have twisted things to their own interpretation and agenda. I have to go by my heart and what I feel, but there are times that I would love a “what do you really think about this?” conversation with Him.

This is by no means a full list. The older I get, the more I realize that I don’t know. Some of these things I’ll work to understand, such as the God thing, but others aren’t important, just points of curiosity. In the meantime, I’m going to go look for an episode of Hoarders and chow on some Cadbury Mini-Eggs.

Feel free to comment with things that you don’t understand.

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Confession time: when comes to grammar and spelling, I’m a horrible snob. Not so much when someone is speaking, although I do cringe when I hear people say, “I seen”  instead of “I saw” or “That’s mines” instead of “That’s mine”. No, it’s more when I’m reading something that isn’t correct, especially with apostrophes. I have a horrible apostrophe complex. For the life of me, I can’t understand why people insist on putting apostrophes in plural nouns where they don’t belong. I tell my students of a sign for a shop that used to drive me absolutely insane: “Laila’s Fruit’s and Vegetables”. It was there for years in a little strip mall on the way to Target, so I passed it often. I longed to go in and tell the owner to get rid of the apostrophe in “Fruit’s”, but I thought, quite correctly, that they would have 1. Thought me to be a crazy person off the street and called the police or 2. Thought me to be a crazy person off the street but would have been horribly embarrassed. Either way, I’m glad that I listened to the angel on my one shoulder instead of the devil on the other.

How many of us are snobs about things we know a lot about? I got to thinking about this from a Facebook meme the other day. It said something along the lines of life being a battle over whether to correct grammar or to have friends. That resonated with me, but it also made me think. What things do I do that frustrate people or absolutely drive them nuts and how could I fix them? Could I ever fix them all?

Marty Man could tell you several things I can’t do that utterly befuddle me but are easy for him. Taxes, for one. I have trouble filling out a W-2! I can’t help it, the language is soooooo dry and boring. I’d sooner read the phone book. (Yes, they still make phone books, albeit much smaller ones these days.) Besides, there are sort-ofs on some of the questions. Do I want to take out more than necessary, just in case? Maybe. How much are you going to tax me, Uncle Sam? Then, add line 2 to the sum, or difference, of lines 5-8, but only if you got married on a Tuesday in December when the sun was shining. Subtract 3 if it was a cloudy day. See, I’m hopeless.

Keeping up the checkbook is another thing that I (don’t) do that makes Marty Man wants to scale the walls. He has tried to train me, repeatedly, to write my debit card purchases in the checkbook. I have no problem recording checks in the ledger after I write them, but making a debit purchase just kind of floats out of my head. After all these years, he’s given up and just relies on the bank website to update it himself. Trust me, it’s all for the best.

Cars snobs can lord it over me, hands-down. Cars are confusing. If I have a car issue and mention it in certain company, I am sure to get all sorts of advice, 99% of which means nothing to me. I smile and nod, like it all make sense when I’m really longing to beg the person to come over and fix it for me. I’m not a complete imbecile; I can change a tire if I have to, if the lug nuts aren’t too tight. I know to fill a leaking radiator with water in an overheating emergency. If anything else goes wrong, however, AAA gets a call. I’m in awe of people who can instantly diagnose car trouble and I know that they’re secretly laughing at my ineptness, just like I did to the owners of Laila’s Fruit’s and Vegetables for all of those years. Somewhere, my grandfather is shaking his head in shame. He was a great car guy, but I didn’t get any of those genes.

I’m quite positive that my dance teacher is not a snob, but there are times when I want to tell her that it’s okay with me if she is. My head might get the new combination completely, but getting that information from my brain down to my feet (and let’s not even start on my arms) sometimes proves a bit, er, challenging. I would love to have her kind of patience with people who can’t do what I’m trying to teach them. It just seems so easy for her and others in the class, but I keep trying and I love it, so it’s all good.

I’m curious as to what kind of snobs my readers are. C’mon, fess up! You already know that grammar is one of mine. What are you a snob about that you know you shouldn’t be? We all are in one way or another, whether it’s religion, manners, work, or taxes. Confession is good for the soul.

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