So, I had an unpleasant surprise on Facebook today. Not that all on FB is pleasant; there’s some disturbing stuff sometimes. This, however, was like a slap in the face.
I had clicked on a link that a friend had commented on because I was interested in the article. It had to do with Sandra Fluke. You remember, the woman that Rush Limbaugh condemned as a slut on national radio. Anyway, it seems that Ms. Fluke is considering a run for Congress. From the article and the comments that followed, you would have thought that she was the Whore of Babylon. I don’t think that I’ve ever seen such venom and malice directed toward someone who was not a dictator of a third-world country. She was called a slut, a whore, a bitch, a sexual orifice, by both men and women! One commenter, a woman, said that she should have been aborted. Another said that her mother should have used contraception. She was accused of having constantly open legs. Such crass, misogynistic bile. I read more than I wanted to. It was like a horrific car accident, I couldn’t look away. I wish I had. I feel sick.
Now, I don’t know much about Sandra Fluke or her politics, only that she may just as well have had a scarlet “A” pinned to her chest after she came before Congress to argue that insurance plans should cover contraception. That’s it. Like many in the country, I saw a woman basically crucified for daring to say that insurance plans should cover contraception. Rush Limbaugh, patron saint of the crude, crass, obnoxious, and ridiculous, felt that it was his duty to use every disgusting term he could to insult this lady. It was embarrassing. It was disgusting. HE is disgusting. And he felt that it was his duty to do that to a woman who is not only a successful attorney, but a graduate of Cornell and Georgetown Universities. Jealousy, perhaps? Inadequacy issues?
And why is a request for birth control seen as a sign of promiscuity? I’ve been married for over 17 years and I was on the pill for much of that. Am I a slut? A whore? Am I wrong to want to limit the size of my family so that, oh, we don’t go broke with all of the mouths to feed that would come without it? Seriously, I even got pregnant on the pill. I’m as fertile as they come and I didn’t want 10 kids. Women are still branded as all of those previously mentioned vile names when men who have bastards all over the place are not. Most people in the world have had at least one sexual partner before marriage; many have more. That doesn’t give ANYONE the right to judge, demean, or to make a person feel ashamed over anything in their past. IT’S NOT OKAY!!!!!! And if a person is sleeping around (which is none of anyone else’s business) and they’re using contraception, isn’t that a plus??? They won’t end up on Judge Judy as one of these people with twelve kids who can’t support them. Apparently, Mr. Limbaugh has lived a pure and holy life and has never had to deal with any of that. Last time I heard, he had enough personal problems of his own and he shouldn’t be throwing any stones, let alone the first one. If you have any thoughts on defending him, just remember that he would have said the same thing to your wife, your mother, your sister.
Again, I don’t know Ms. Fluke, I don’t follow her, and I don’t claim to know anything that she’s done other than that fateful moment when Mr. Limbaugh made her famous. I’m not a supporter and not a paid defender. I didn’t even know that she was thinking about a run for Congress But I do know this: Ladies, we have not yet won equality, not by any means. She doesn’t deserve this abuse and in letting it go, we are condoning it and saying that it is okay.
When we live in a country where people use every rude, filthy, nasty, UNACCEPTABLE name to fling at a woman just because they don’t think she is right for a job, (and this is for Congress!) we have descended into that pit of the past where women were property and blamed for the sexual transgressions of men. We live in the freakin’ 21st century, for crying out loud! We look at what women go through in the Middle East and how awful it is, but in reality, in the minds of some people, American women, any women, are worthless, no matter what. If a man had asked for that same thing, there is no way that he would treated in the same, sickening manner. What amazed me the most was that WOMEN were hurling these vile insults as well. What is wrong with people? One can express distaste with class, especially in a public forum. There is no need to descend to the level of a high school locker room.
I guess I’m frustrated. I’m angry. I was fooled into thinking that women had gained some ground, that people were getting more intelligent about the equality between men and women. I’m wrong as of now, but that won’t keep me from being vocal for change, to forever lock away these outdated and insulting opinions that do nothing but feed the ignorant. We need to raise young men and women who find those ideas of using sexual slurs abhorrent and replace them with intelligent ones. We need to speak up and to not stay silent when a slur is used. We need to make it clear that that behavior is unacceptable. The more people that speak up, the less of it there will be. As I tell my students: You don’t have to like everyone or to agree with everyone, but you do have to respect them. Maybe someone should tell that to Rush Limbaugh.