A (Very Short) History Of Anne Boleyn

My new article on Medium!

https://julieballantynebrown-68872.medium.com/the-very-short-history-of-anne-boleyn-c94bed473f54?sk=b018f0f0abb1e772c6b9a9722d7c76ca

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Home Sweet Home

Today is our house anniversary: Nineteen years since the day we moved in, October 14, 2001.

I remember the day pretty clearly and all that led up to it. It was a misty, rainy day. My brothers, Uncle-Dad, and Sister-Cousins helped. We supplied beer and pizza as thanks.

2001 had been a pretty rough year for us. My husband was laid off from his job and going to school. I was working two jobs to make ends meet. Our two older boys were only four and two and the little duplex we rented seemed to get smaller by the day. It was super stressful.

Marty’s grandmother passed away that summer after years of poor health. As a result, her house was empty and the family was deciding what to do with it. Blessedly, arrangements were made for us to move in that fall. After a lot of scraping wallpaper, painting, and ripping up carpet, we made it our home. It’s still a work in progress, and some days this house makes me want to scream with how much money we’ve poured into it and continue to pour into it, but it’s been a wonderful place to live and raise our family. (Btw, I don’t ever think I want to own a house again.)

This is the longest time I’ve ever lived in one house and I admit, I am restless. It’s not for any other reason than that I want to explore other areas, experience living in a completely different part of the country or part of the world. We have the most amazing neighbors here who welcomed us in immediately and have stepped up for us time and time again. Our neighborhood is safe and beautiful. I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to live here. But as I keep telling my poor husband, I’ve lived in Michigan within a twenty-mile radius my entire life and I don’t want to die here.

There are no plans to leave at the moment. My husband loves his job here. Youngest Child is finishing up his senior year in high school and Middle Child will graduate from the University of Michigan this spring, so we have no illusions of leaving for a few years, but it’s something I think about more and more as they begin their independent lives. I fantasize about it almost daily, actually. (We’ll make sure to get a flat near a Tube stop and also near a Tesco. Kensington seems nice, but I’m open to other areas of London…)

I look at my husband, lots of friends and family, and I wonder how they are so content to be where they are. Many of them are happy to stay in the same place they’ve been for years. I kind of envy them. Why am I different? Did I get it from my father, who always seemed to be searching in his short life? Or is it because I moved frequently as a child, living in five different homes by the time I was sixteen? Youngest Child has only ever lived here; will he be a wanderer at heart, like me, or will he return to his hometown after exploring the world for a while, like his father? I have no clue, no actual theories. I only know that the thought of staying here for the rest of my life, as lovely as it is, makes me anxious.

Whatever the future holds, we’ve had some incredibly joyful times in this house as well as some devastating moments that I’d rather forget. These formally avocado-colored walls have heard and seen so much, we’ve left a lot of energy here. There are at least two ghosts that make their presences known from time to time and two adorable cats who feel welcome enough to visit every single day. Our neighbors hold socially distant, outdoor, cocktail hours and piled on the loving care when my husband had his heart attack in August. As restless as I am, this house does have rather pleasant amenities.

Nineteen years. I don’t hope for nineteen more, but I am grateful for what I have right now.

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Clean Out the Junk

Today, on this episode of Quarantine Adventures, I decided to clean out my kitchen cabinets. Since we began sheltering in place, I’ve been completely unmotivated to really do much around the house, especially since Marty and I have been online teaching full time. It’s completely exhausting and by the time I actually finish for the day, around 9 or 10:00, I don’t want to do anything else. Seriously, we have assignments and questions coming in 24-7 and it’s a lot more difficult to grade online work than it is on paper.

That’s also a reason I haven’t been writing much lately; I’m at the computer all day long and by the time I’m done working, I just don’t want to type anything else. We do take breaks during the day, but it feels like we’re constantly working and we can’t step away for long. Hence, there is not much going on in the way of deep-cleaning at our house, except for the linen closet I emptied out a few weeks ago.

BUT! This is Memorial Day weekend and although I have a billion more e-assignments to grade (just the thought of that makes me want to cry), I’m actually taking a couple of days away from online school. I’m not even looking at my email right now. After reading for a few hours this morning (Delicious!!!) I decided that we needed chocolate chip cookies. I mean, when do we not need chocolate chip cookies?

While rummaging for ingredients, I noticed that there were a lot of items that had been there for a while. And when I say a while, I mean a really long time, so I started going through them.

Oh, my goodness.

There was a lot to see there, folks.

Our cabinets go back ridiculously far. I know I’m short, but one would need 6-foot-long arms to easily reach the back of these cabinets. That means that as we go shopping and add more stuff, items that don’t get used get pushed all the way back and out of the sight line. It’s a really stupid design. There were a lot of things pushed to the back. Undeterred, I got out my trusty step stool and tried not to dislocate my shoulder.

Here are some examples of things I threw out today:

• Two boxes of cornstarch, one expired in 2014, one in 2016.
• Lasagna noodles, expired 2015.
• Cherry Jell-O, expired May 2013 (at first glance, I thought it said 2003.)
• Club crackers, expired 2018.
• Lemon extract, expired 2014. (That one smelled up the whole kitchen when I poured it down the drain. Mostly lemony, but also icky.)
• Instant coffee that was technically not expired but had consolidated into, well, a solid.
• Arborio rice, expired 2016.

And the oldest thing I found today: A box of chamomile tea that expired in 2010.

We’ve been here since 2001, so all things considered, it wasn’t horrible, but still. As I was cleaning, episodes of Hoarders kept going through my mind. (Do you know how old this is???) I mean, at some point before 2010, I had obviously done this before.

It was very therapeutic. I LOVE purging and throwing things away, I love the way things look and feel after it’s done. I’m proud to say that every food item in my cupboard is, for the moment, unexpired and all of the emptied boxes/jars/cans are in the recycling bin.

Guys, this was a major achievement today. I feel accomplished. However, it may be another ten years before I do it again.

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Positives

Exactly two months ago, the night of February 17, I was so excited. The next morning, I would board my plane to Boston and begin my mini-adventure in Salem.  I was packed and ready. barely able to fall asleep. I remember it well. At that point, COVID-19 was the furthest thing from my mind. Little did I know

Fast forward to now. It’s only been two months since my trip, but it seems like years ago. Travel isn’t even on the radar at the moment. There have been some really rough days, I’ll admit. Emotions have run the gamut: Fear, inspiration, hope, anger (this past week, especially), frustration, all ramped up due to the situation.

I’m trying not to let my OCD and anxiety run away with those negative emotions, going round and round in my brain for hours without stopping. It’s times like these when I seriously rethink my therapist’s offer of medication. I’m not going to lie, Wednesday was really difficult, watching people completely disregard safety regulations, getting out of cars and clumping together, with such ugliness, waving Confederate flags and white power signs that had nothing to do with what they were supposedly protesting. Just for the record, I believe in the right to peaceful protest; I do NOT believe that we have the right to put other people in danger by potentially exposing them to a deadly disease (including children, OMG!!! There were several children there!), clogging up streets and honking horns for EIGHT HOURS around a Level 1 trauma hospital where there are tons of sick people, children, and a maternity ward. WTF??? Seriously, what is wrong with people? Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. That’s all I’m going to say on that matter, so trolls, step off. Don’t even try to defend that mess,

That being said, there are many positive things about this social isolation episode that I am focusing on. Such as:

• Family time. Youngest Child is a brilliant musician and he’s been teaching (forcing) me to learn piano chords. I can already read music, I sing and play the flute/piccolo/tin whistle, but my piano experience has been limited to very simple tunes. Now, I’m learning some really cool stuff. He’s also helping me with learning ukulele. I always wanted to play and, of course, he knows how. We’ve been watching a lot of movies as a family, eating dinner together every night, and playing games. Yes, we get tired of each other and need some alone time, but for the most part, I love spending more time with Marty and Youngest Child. (Oldest lives on his own now, two hours away, and Middle is in his apartment at school since he has better internet and still has an active lease.)
• Sleeping in. We’re working, Marty teaches, too, but no more 6:00 am wake-up times for us. School starts when we want it to. We’re honestly working a lot of hours, more than we normally do, but we have sleep. Yay!
• I’m writing regularly. I finished the yet-unnamed sequel to Traveler, began another book, and plan to begin editing (and naming) the sequel this week. I’m also writing a lot more blog posts, in case you haven’t noticed.
• Languages. I’ve dusted off my Italian and French and am going full-force on Duolingo. It’s awesome. Future plans…
• I’m starting my Shakespeare garden indoors with seeds. See my Shakespeare Garden post for more on that. It’s so cool, watching everything sprout!
• Zoom meetings. Two months ago, I couldn’t have told you what Zoom was. Now I use it every day. It helps me to stay connected to my theatre family and my church family. I truly don’t know what I’d do without it. I even get to have my therapy appointment online, which is very much needed.

Now, with things looking a bit better with this stupid virus running its course, there’s a little light shining at the end of the tunnel, if people don’t screw it up and start a giant second wave. We (myself included) need to focus more on the positive, not to ignore the problems, but to keep things from getting very dark.

In the comments, share a positive with me, some bright spot in this dark time, no matter where in the world you are. I want to celebrate with you!

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Week One Of Social Distancing

Unless you’ve been meditating in the desert for weeks like Jared Leto, you know that we are in the middle of a worldwide pandemic. How long will this last? No one knows, but we can make it better by doing what is recommended: staying away from people as much as possible and washing our hands. It seems trivial to some, but my dear friend in Italy has seen just how bad this is. She and her family are fine, thank God, but so many are not. There are hundreds of deaths every day in places where there used to be such joy. I watch video from Rome, Florence, and Venice and remember how full of life those cities were when I visited just five years ago. The streets are empty, the obituaries are many. This is serious business, folks.

I don’t think I really have to explain the term “social distancing” since the entire world is doing it. If you’re not right now, you should be so we can get rid of this stupid virus and hug people again. I don’t know about you, but I miss hugging my friends. I hug Marty, obviously, but he does not want to be hugged all the time. Hugging Youngest Child is like trying to hug a rock right right now and he makes funny noises when I do. It will be good to hug other people again. Someday.

Like everyone else, we’re trying to find things to fill all of the extra time at home. Of course, there are always things that should be done, but aren’t pleasant. I’m forcing myself to do some of that. Things like scrubbing the kitchen cabinets. Or individually dusting all of the books in a bookshelf and then moving the bookshelf to clean the years of dust bunnies behind and underneath. I know, I know, I’m enjoying myself way too much, but it has to be done. Sigh. Sidenote: I hate cleaning. I keep a (mostly) clean house because, well, I don’t want to live in a dirty house and I love it when the house is clean, but I actually hate the process. I used to think I was a domestic person, but I’ve come to realize that I’m not. My mantra is, “Someday, I will hire a maid.”

Youngest Child has also decided that we are going to work out this entire time and that my running and sit-ups aren’t enough, oh, no. In the spirit of Jillian Michaels, he has added push-ups to my routine, six sets of an increasing number every night with a minute rest in between each set. Last night, I made it to six sets of seven. I hurt now. Marty wryly watches me struggle from the couch as the six-foot-tall teenager says that it’s good for us, that we’re going to be “ripped” this summer. Tonight, I’ll be up to six sets of eight. I don’t like push-ups.

Marty and I are also teaching remotely from home, which has been an interesting experience. We have apps that we can use to help us assign work and the students are familiar with the apps, but getting all 100+ of them to go online and do the assigned work is some of the problem. Most are, and they’re doing a great job, but some have limited internet access, even though the school lent out laptops to those who needed one. There are also others who are choosing to not do anything. We are grading their assignments, but at this point, the grades don’t count. The behavior management part of this has been FABULOUS, though. I haven’t written anyone up of kicked them out of my class in a week, although I did turn off a kid’s camera on Zoom yesterday for flipping everyone off. I was not shocked at who did the flipping off, either. It’ll be interesting to see where this all goes in the coming weeks.

There is no theatre right now. That’s something I’m super sad about, as are many people that I know. My cast and I were at least able to perform one weekend of The Glass Menagerie with wonderful reviews before we got shut down and there’s still a possibility that we could have one more performance to record, with no audience, and a cast photo once things settle down. Other theatres around here didn’t even get to open their March shows at all. Many are postponed until at least May or are cancelled outright. And that really, really sucks. I don’t want to get too deeply into that because I’m still having a hard time dealing with it. I know that there are many others in the same boat, but that doesn’t make it any easier. In the meantime, I’m still going over my lines every day, just in case.

With no theatre, I’m trying to focus back on writing, which is a good thing. I’m very close to finishing my sequel to Traveler (which is, by the way, available on Amazon. Hint hint.) and I have have a couple of other projects going as well.

I’m also focusing more on meditation. I’m very much in a learning frame of mind with metaphysical things and this has been a great time to explore, really be quiet, and let it happen. More on that later.

There’s time to read for fun again. I have a long way to go before I catch up to where Marty is, but I’ll try. I have about five books that I’m reading simultaneously at the moment.

Oh! I’m also planning my garden. I’m making a Shakespeare garden, kind of a big deal, with plants that Shakespeare references in his works. There will be a lot of new landscaping and I ordered a bunch of seeds that should be here any time now. I’ll post before and after pictures when things actually begin growing. Marty is scared.

So, what are you doing during this time? Drop a message in the comments or give this post a like. I’d love to hear from you. Reading comments gives me an excuse to not clean the basement.

Stay safe, everyone.

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Little Things

There are little, beautiful, things that make me smile.

Baby belly laughs. Best thing ever. Hands down.

My husband’s hand on my back at night as we go to sleep.

A random text or Snapchat from one of my boys.

Snuggling with one of my boys.

Messaging with my cousins.

An email or message from Sabrina.

Someone being kind.

A hug between friends.

A silly rehearsal moment

Petting friendly kitties.

Petting any animal.

Random sappy things said by students.

Sunburst through the clouds.

Our Christmas tree, still lit on February 12, by choice.

Dimes.

The thought of being on an airplane, going somewhere.

A lovely quote.

Pictures from days gone by.

Good feedback from a director.

Ocean waves.

A warm, soul-squeezing passage in a book.

A most satisfying piece of a plastic bat. (Only some of you will get this.)

Time to write.

Snow with no snowblower noises.

What makes you smile?

 

 

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Marriage Stuff

Marty and I attended a wedding for two of my theatre friends yesterday. What’s really cool is that I was in the show with both of them when they met and have been able to see their relationship begin and flourish, leading to the beautiful ceremony and reception yesterday. They are a magical couple and deserve all of the happiness in the world.

As I listened to them recite their vows that they wrote themselves and watched them try to hold back their happy tears, I held my own tears back and thought of my wedding day, almost twenty-three years ago now. I was so young and so unprepared for what marriage really takes, but at that moment, I didn’t care. I was excited and in love and I thought it would be all sunshine and rainbows. After all, we hadn’t even had a fight yet, at least not a real one. Boy, have I learned a lot since then!

I love my marriage but it has definitely not always been easy. Money woes, communication issues, being parents of three young boys, unemployment, HOUSE ISSUES (omg, this house…), a miscarriage, and my depression issues, meant that things were broken sometimes and forced us to think about what was really important and to work it out. We had to learn to be honest with each other about our feelings and truly listen to each other. For someone like me who was always “fine” (I wasn’t), this was extremely difficult. But, do you know what? Doing the hard work was worth it, especially when it would have been so easy to just walk away, but we didn’t want that. We’ve grown so much as a couple and a team over the last few years. I can honestly say that my husband is my best friend and that I am happy in our marriage. I recognize that that’s not true for a lot of people. I’m so happy and fortunate that I’m married to someone who doesn’t want to always be right (except during Jeopardy), he wants to work with me toward our goals as a couple and my individual goals, just like I want to work with him. He loves and accepts me, weirdness and all. We learned together. That’s what marriage is about.

Would I tell my young bride-self this if I could? Maybe, but she probably wouldn’t listen, silly, headstrong thing that she was. Experience is a good teacher and going through what we have, I really appreciate us now.

I thought about all of this yesterday during the wedding and reception. I squeezed Marty’s hand, more than once, and made him dance as much as I could. In my mind, not only was I celebrating the beautiful union between my friends, but also between us.

Feeling so very thankful with a full heart today.

 

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